“Why can you not become enlightened? It is because of the obstacles in your mind and because the root of your pain is deep.” ~Hui Neng
As many of you know, I am currently writing a book to educate, enlighten and empower children and adults to be their absolute best. The writing process is quite interesting. It is truly an ebb and flow journey that causes you to soul search deeper than you ever imagined you would. For months I wrote fairly freely and everything was rolling along quite nicely and then I came to chapter 3 and experienced what is known as ‘writers block’.
This particular chapter is a very important chapter because it introduces the concept of core beliefs and helps us all to understand how beliefs we formed in childhood shape who we are today.
Instead of getting frustrated with my lack of free flow writing I removed myself from the computer for a while and began to ask the Universe for guidance. A funny thing happens when you ask the Universe for guidance…you get exactly what you’ve asked for!
According to Abraham-Hicks (The Law of Attraction, Esther & Gerry Hicks), “A belief is a thought that you simply keep thinking.”
We all have beliefs. We have beliefs about the world and how it works. We have beliefs about people and how they function. We have beliefs about ourselves and what makes us tick on a daily basis.
Chapter 3 of my book focuses on beliefs that formed in early childhood that we have validated over time. These beliefs were born from thoughts that we had about ourselves or life in general and they dwell deep within our hearts–at our very core.
A core belief that I have struggled with my entire life is that I am not good enough (another way to say this is not worthy). Many people look at me and think ‘I’ve got the world on a string.’ They have always seen my accomplishments as monumental, yet I have struggled to feel good about my own successes.
After a difficult, but enlightening lesson from the Universe (that I asked for) I can honestly say that I totally get where this came from now…
When I was a child my mom never sent me to school without a pretty dress and complete hairdo. I was made fun of for this because I was ‘too perfect’.
As the years went by I poured myself into art. I won several art contests and was made to feel that I was ‘favored’ by the art teacher because of my ability.
More time passed and I found my inner voice and became an accomplished singer. You can guess that this brought criticism from my peers as well.
I was just like every other kid, I wanted to be liked and I wanted to fit in, but it was becoming increasingly obvious that in order to do that I had to dim my own light.
As an adult, I am saddened to say, that I am still experiencing these ‘hits,’ so to speak when I accomplish something or speak my truth.
For the past few weeks this core belief of unworthiness has come up for me fairly strongly. I’ve been very hard on myself and unfortunately ‘dimming my own light’. Tonight I asked myself why I do this? Why is it that I cannot get past this obstacle?
The answer was within the pain of this belief.
As a child I learned to downplay my successes so that people would not make fun of me or cast me aside because they felt that my light was too bright. I’m sad to say that as an adult I was dimming my own light for this same reason, but who am I really helping if I am not being true to myself and beaming my own inner light?
Marianne Williamson teaches us that, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne Williamson, Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”
I’ve come to realize that I am no longer that little girl who needs people to like her. Instead, I am a woman who has learned to like herself and love the little girl within.
I understand that no-one truly ignites their own light by dimming another and I hope you will see the same by finding your own inner light.
Don’t play small. Be who you are and allow all of your magnificence to illuminate the world because the only person, place or thing stopping you is…YOU.
I think it’s safe to say that I asked for guidance and the Universe delivered. I’m no longer ‘blocked’.
With Lots of Love & TONS of Light,