Guiding our children to shine their inner LIGHT by being our absolute best!

Posts tagged ‘inspiration’

It’s Official-Ignite the Light!

Ignite the Light RGB

Ready to Ignite the Light?

Hi everyone!

I can’t believe how fast time flies but my new book is being released in exactly ONE week!!! (But you can PRE-ORDER TODAY)

IGNITE THE LIGHT: EMPOWERING CHILDREN & ADULTS TO BE THEIR ABSOLUTE BEST

Whether you are a parent, a teacher, a child-care worker, or just a person who would like to leave this world a little more peaceful than you found it, Ignite the Light – Empowering Children and Adults to Be Their Absolute Best, will give you the tools to educate, enlighten, and empower the children in your life to see that they are perfect just as they are.  What happens in childhood doesn’t stay in childhood, which is why childhood is too precious to ignore.  This book is a practical step-by-step manual for change and message of hope that provides tools from which all children—and all families—will benefit.

Check out the book trailer that was filmed and produced by an 11 year old who shines brighter than the SUN-(how cool is that?)

CLICK HERE FOR BOOK TRAILER

I am on a mission to help children and families be their absolute best by igniting the light within.

In this book, I take the 7 Essentials that I have taught for years to both children and adults and give you a step by step manual to apply to your life and empower the children you serve (whether you are a parent or teacher, you know exactly what I mean by that).

There’s nothing cerebral about it. I keep it simple because I want you to pick up this book, devour the message and apply simple principles immediately so that you can not only be your best self, but more important–ignite the light within our kids!

Top 5 Reasons to Order Ignite the Light today:

1) You will learn 7 simple essentials that can chance your life by helping you to create strong foundations for children and repair and strengthen your own foundation.
2) Your kids deserve a strong foundation that will help them to navigate the waters of life by connecting with their inner power.
3) You deserve a chance to get off the hamster wheel and start living instead of existing.
4) There are tons of tools to help kids believe in themselves and speak their truth, and when this happens our kids excel at school, laugh at bullies and shine brighter than the sun!
5) When we believe in ourselves and speak our truth, we not only create a brighter future for our kids but we live a happier life!

How about some gifts?

Because you have followed my work and are on my super important email list, I want to give you a few free gifts for ordering my book;

1) an automatic download of a typical meditation in my classroom. This is approximately 12 minutes long and can be used with both children and adults, even if you think you have a hard time meditating! I have 1st graders who use this method and believe me it works. Let me teach you how to go to YOUR ‘Happy Place.’

2) I will include you in a free 90 minute group coaching call based on the 7 essentials in the book(Date in June to be announced.)

How do you get the free gifts?

Simply purchase the book from amazon (click the link below), then send your receipt to zohee@vickisavini.com with “I’m Ready to Ignite the Light” in the subject line and you will receive an email with your immediate download and more information on the coaching call.

Lots of Love & Tons of Light,
Vicki

Release Your Pain & Be The Light

Why can you not become enlightened? It is because of the obstacles in your mind and because the root of your pain is deep.” ~Hui Neng

As many of you know, I am currently writing a book to educate, enlighten and empower children and adults to be their absolute best. The writing process is quite interesting. It is truly an ebb and flow journey that causes you to soul search deeper than you ever imagined you would. For months I wrote fairly freely and everything was rolling along quite nicely and then I came to chapter 3 and experienced what is known as ‘writers block’.

This particular chapter is a very important chapter because it introduces the concept of core beliefs and helps us all to understand how beliefs we formed in childhood shape who we are today.

Instead of getting frustrated with my lack of free flow writing I removed myself from the computer for a while and began to ask the Universe for guidance. A funny thing happens when you ask the Universe for guidance…you get exactly what you’ve asked for!

According to Abraham-Hicks (The Law of Attraction, Esther & Gerry Hicks), “A belief is a thought that you simply keep thinking.”

We all have beliefs. We have beliefs about the world and how it works. We have beliefs about people and how they function. We have beliefs about ourselves and what makes us tick on a daily basis.

Chapter 3 of my book focuses on beliefs that formed in early childhood that we have validated over time. These beliefs were born from thoughts that we had about ourselves or life in general and they dwell deep within our hearts–at our very core.

A core belief that I have struggled with my entire life is that I am not good enough (another way to say this is not worthy). Many people look at me and think ‘I’ve got the world on a string.’ They have always seen my accomplishments as monumental, yet I have struggled to feel good about my own successes.

After a difficult, but enlightening lesson from the Universe (that I asked for) I can honestly say that I totally get where this came from now…

 

When I was a child my mom never sent me to school without a pretty dress and complete hairdo. I was made fun of for this because I was ‘too perfect’.

As the years went by I poured myself into art. I won several art contests and was made to feel that I was ‘favored’ by the art teacher because of my ability.

More time passed and I found my inner voice and became an accomplished singer. You can guess that this brought criticism from my peers as well.

I was just like every other kid, I wanted to be liked and I wanted to fit in, but it was becoming increasingly obvious that in order to do that I had to dim my own light.

As an adult, I am saddened to say, that I am still experiencing these ‘hits,’ so to speak when I accomplish something or speak my truth.

For the past few weeks this core belief of unworthiness has come up for me fairly strongly. I’ve been very hard on myself and unfortunately ‘dimming my own light’. Tonight I asked myself why I do this? Why is it that I cannot get past this obstacle?

The answer was within the pain of this belief.

As a child I learned to downplay my successes so that people would not make fun of me or cast me aside because they felt that my light was too bright. I’m sad to say that as an adult I was dimming my own light for this same reason, but who am I really helping if I am not being true to myself and beaming my own inner light?

Marianne Williamson teaches us that, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne WilliamsonReturn to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

I’ve come to realize that I am no longer that little girl who needs people to like her. Instead, I am a woman who has learned to like herself and love the little girl within.

I understand that no-one truly ignites their own light by dimming another and I hope you will see the same by finding your own inner light.

Don’t play small. Be who you are and allow all of your magnificence to illuminate the world because the only person, place or thing stopping you is…YOU.

I think it’s safe to say that I asked for guidance and the Universe delivered. I’m no longer ‘blocked’.

With Lots of Love & TONS of Light,

Vicki

 

When Our Children Speak Their Truth

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Last week was a busy week.  It was the first week back from vacation and somehow, I always feel like I need a vacation from a vacation.  I may have been a bit distracted during the week as I multitasked to get things done to catch up from the week before and prepare for the weeks ahead.  Perhaps I didn’t realize that I was becoming a human doing instead of a human being until my six year old gracefully pointed that out to me…

I had just finished yet another load of clothes and I was checking email when my sister came up on Skype.  I hadn’t talked with her in a while so I accepted her video request.  My son was playing a computer game in the home office so I went to another area of our house to chat with my sister.  Within a few moments of our conversation, my son screamed, “Mom!  I need you! This crazy computer is stuck again!!”  Our office computer is quite the dinosaur, but it’s good for games on the computer (or so I thought).

I calmly called up to him, “Hunnie, I’m Skyping with your aunt right now.  I’ll be up in a few minutes.”  A few minutes later he screamed again, “Mom!  I n-e-e-d  y-o-u-r  h-e-l-p!”  This time I replied, “You just have to wait until Mommy is done, and then I will be up.”

Apparently, that wasn’t good enough because moments later I heard him stomp down the hall and slam his bedroom door.  I just shook my head and continued my conversation.  Finally, I told my sister I need to go check on my son and up the stairs I went.  As I climbed the stairs I was thinking how nervy it was of him to slam his door in frustration, but then I was thinking how frustrated both my husband and I get on that computer as well.

I slowly opened his door and saw him on the floor playing with a toy.  I looked at him and said, “Nico, I was talking with Aunt Bri and I couldn’t come to help you in that moment, but slamming your door, seriously, who do you think you are?”

He turned and looked right in my eyes and very matter-of-factly said, “I am me. That’s who I am.”  For a brief moment I was stunned.  I work very hard to teach the children in my class and my very own child to speak their truth and that is exactly what my kid was doing right in front of me.  I smiled and said, “You’re absolutely right.  I appreciate that you are you and that you can say that with pride.  What I would like to know is, do you think slamming the door a good choice?”  He looked at me and replied, “I’m sorry mom.  I was just so frustrated.” 

We then talked about what he could do when he feels frustrated again instead of slamming the door, like possibly walking away and playing with something else to settle down (like he did after slamming the door).

While talking with him over the next fifteen minutes of so I realized that he was not only frustrated about the computer.  More importantly, he was frustrated because he felt like I wasn’t there for him.  He had been entertaining himself quite a bit as I caught up from our vacation and me sitting down to check email and then Skyping was likely, the last straw for him.

Don’t Let One Bad Apple Spoil the Bunch…Cook That Apple Pie!

Do we not strive as parents to be our absolute best for our children?  Do we consistently look out for our child’s best interest and commonly ask questions to be sure our kids are headed ‘down the right road?’  Of course, we do.  However, what we fail to sometimes realize, is that our kids are watching, listening, and learning from us 24:7 (that’s right…even when we’re sleeping).

I can’t possibly count the number of times that I have heard a phrase come out of my child’s mouth and knew immediately that he picked it up from me (unfortunately, some of those phrases were ‘potty words’ that he shared at just the right moment, in front of my mother in law!).

They spit back the words that we say, the actions that we take, and of course the paths that we show them to roam.

Today, I had a terrific opportunity to learn a lesson, and an even greater opportunity to teach a lesson…

I was informed that there was a person out there spreading toxic waste about me (we all have this happen at some point, no matter how kind, generous or loving we are).  My initial reaction was anger.  I wanted to take out an ad in the local newspaper to debunk this person’s accusations and call every person I knew to ‘vent.’  However, for some reason, I held back, knowing that those actions would simply be me, re-acting to the situation, instead of responding.  I had plenty of ‘good things’ going on in my day, including my Kidspeak Radio Show in the evening, spending quality time with my son, and preparing for another week of empowering kids in an upcoming camp.  Yet I was choosing to focus on this one negative event.

Before I allowed this to consume me, I smartened up and took 5.  I retreated to a quiet room in my home and sat in silence asking, “What is it that I need to know here?”  Within moments, I knew that there was a great lesson here and I just needed to let go of the toxic feelings.  I wanted to focus on all of the good that was going on in my life, but I kept being drawn into the toxic pit! As much as I tried to rationalize the situation, I wanted to defend myself, and then it hit me…

This was an opportunity for me to use my own formula and theory that I teach others, for myself (you know, walk the talk).  I teach my clients 3 R’s to problem solve and eliminate toxic thinking;

1)      Recognize– become AWARE of what is really going on in the moment by releasing blame.

2)      Realize– ALTERNATIVES to the current problem/situation.

3)      Respond– instead of re-acting, by taking positive ACTION.

In that moment (the moment that I was faced with walking my talk), I recognized what was really going on by bringing my awareness to the present moment. Instead of playing the past in my head repeatedly, or looking too far ahead in the future with fear, I simply saw the situation for what it was, a very small part of my day!  I then realized that I could allow myself to ruin the rest of my day with my son and possibly destroy my radio show for the evening, OR, I could release the feelings of anger and just focus on the good.

Guess what?  I chose to respond instead of re-act and I allowed this event to be just a small occurrence in my day.  I did not pick up the phone to vent to friends (well, maybe one), or call the local news.  Instead, I put my energy into riding bikes with my son and then providing an amazing radio show!

The lesson became very clear when I talked with my son later in the evening and he said something quite profound during an interview we were preparing for a few weeks out (because he couldn’t understand why Mommy wasn’t interviewing HIM for Kidspeak Radio-LOL).  I asked my son what he wanted other children to know, and he responded,

Love yourself.  You have to just love yourself, even when you feel mad or sad, because that’s what’s in your heart.”

Hmmmm, I felt a little bit ‘checked,’ but more importantly, blessed.  I certainly was not loving myself when I was letting someone else’s delusional opinion of me ruin part of my day!  I’m sure glad I was able to use the 3 R’s to my benefit, and I’m most thankful for my little avatar who reminded me that,

You can’t let one bad apple spoil the bunch!’

If I allowed this toxic information to ruin my time with my son and my radio show, I would have been giving my power away and not truly loving myself.  I also would not be setting a very good example for my son, because I would be teaching him that what matters most, is what others say about you.  That would be quite hypocritical since I teach,

What matters most is how you see yourself!”

The BIG lesson here for me is that today, I remembered, that children learn from us 24:7, and oh by the way, they are really damn good teachers too!

“Don’t let one bad apple spoil the bunch.” In other words, one negative event, word or happening doesn’t have to stop you from cooking an amazing apple pie!

 

Lots of Love,

Vicki

PS…If you want to HEAR that radio show, click on the Kidspeak Radio Show link here, or above!

Creating Calm to Prevent a Storm

I try hard not to watch too much TV, because let’s face it, we can get drawn in easily and end up spending countless hours on the couch.  However, last night, I felt like I just needed a break from reality.

As I was scrolling through the trusty ‘ol guide, I discovered that the 2004 movie titled, “The Day After Tomorrow,” starring Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Emmy Rossum was airing.  I vaguely remembered the movie, but I recalled liking the movie, so I tuned in.

If you’ve never seen this movie, I’ll give you the gist of it… ‘A climatologist tries to figure out a way to save the world from abrupt global warming. He must get to his young son in New York, which is being taken over by a new ice age’ (Yep…intense, but thought provoking).

The movie was on until 12 pm and there was no way mama was making it ’til 12, so I DVR’d it to watch in the morning before the rest of the clan woke up.

There I was at 6:30 am watching the remainder of this very intense movie, glued to the screen.  As I viewed the storm unfold on the screen, my inner storm was coming to a head.

The past few months have been extremely intense for me.  If you remember my last blog article about being mindful, I think you’ll understand where my head has been.  Lots of ‘stuff‘ going on, both good and bad (just like everyone else on this planet), and very little time spent being mindful, but

That’s all about to change! 

Perhaps that movie shifted something inside of me.  Maybe it was a way for me to see the storm that was brewing within myself and make a shift before it was too late.

I went about my day, running errands and dropping my son off for a play-date, and then I felt it…that awful piercing pain that I get in my neck when I am so stressed out that I can’t even think straight.  Shortly after, I felt a heaviness in my chest and breathing became a chore.  My mind began to race.  I knew I wasn’t having a heart attack and that there was no immediate danger, but my body wasn’t quite getting that and it was going into fight or flight mode!  So, what did I do?

I took a deep breath…nothing.  I took another deep breath…still nothing.  I took a third deep breath and then the flood came.  Tears rolled down my face like a down pour from the clouds on a hot summer’s day.  I let it all out.  I randomly spewed my thoughts like a hurricane ripping through a remote town to my husband (who was actually very good this time and didn’t try to fix it in typical ‘male mode’, instead, he just listened while boarding up the windows! Thanks Hunnie)  When the tears stopped and the sniffles were gone (the downpour and outrageous wind), I wiped my eyes, took a deep breath and said to myself, “Girl, you’ve got to dump this stuff out of your FULL mind and get to a mindful place before your child comes home!”

And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.  Today, I am attending a workshop with John Welshons in Albany at 1 pm.  I didn’t intend on it, but when I went to my computer to see what I could do to straighten myself out (while my son was at his friends house enjoying life) and give myself some ‘me time,’ there sat the email in my inbox with an answer.

We take on a great deal of stress every day.  Some of our stresses may include; financial stress, relationship stress, career stress, time management stress, etc.  The list is different for everyone, but the result is quite the same.  While we are taking on all of that stress and not doing anything to relieve it, we are brewing a massive storm destined to destroy everything in its path.

Now, if you live in a remote area on the top of some mountain far away from civilization where there is you, and only you, and no one depends on you, then you are good to go, keep adding fuel to that fire, if you so choose.  However, if you are a human being who interacts with other human beings daily, especially children, then perhaps you may want to create calm in your life in order to prevent this storm.  These storms created by stress can be lethal.  They can destroy a person’s well being in a matter of moments and our children are the most vulnerable to these conditions.

I’m not saying that a meditation workshop for 3 hours is the thing for you.  Maybe it’s a round of golf or a day at the spa.  Perhaps, it’s a walk in nature for 15 minutes or closing your eyes for 5 minutes and focusing on your breath.  It doesn’t matter what you do to get yourself to focus on the present moment and leave the past in the past and the future to the future.  What matters is that you take the preventive measures necessary to avoid a storm.  We get so caught up in where we are going and where we have been that we miss the gift in front of us…the present moment.

Unfortunately, time doesn’t stop ticking.  One moment you’re holding your new born baby in your arms, and the next moment your handing them the keys to the car.  In order to stay in the moment, be mindful.

Don’t let it get to the point when you feel pain in your neck or heaviness in your chest.  The moment your mind starts to spin, take a deep breath and just listen to that breath.  Imagine what it looks like going into your body and leaving your body.  Feel what that breath feels like.  This is a sure way to get yourself back to the present moment when you are jumping ahead to the future or stuck in the past.  Mindfulness isn’t a religion or even a philosophy.  It’s simply,

Paying attention in a particular way; On purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.” 

Jon Kabat-Zinn

I am truly thankful that I watched that movie last night.  May the shift begin!

I hope that my tiny storm will help you to prevent storms of your own, so that together, we can be the best parents, the best teachers, the best models for our children, today…tomorrow…and always!

Much love and sunshine to you!

Vicki

To continue this journey with me, please like my Facebook page.

Also, a GREAT book, written by Congressman Tim Ryan titled, “A Mindful Nation,” just might be worth your time.

Mind Full…or Mindful?

It’s a GREAT question, isn’t it?  Lately, I have realized that my mind is totally full and I am absolutely NOT mindful when my mind is full…

How often do you catch yourself stuck in your own thoughts?  How many lists do you make in your head a day (and later transfer to the iPad or paper)?  Making lists is not the problem.  The problem  is…the list never ends!  You will always find more and more to do, and you will be completely disconnected from the present moment if your mind is full.

A few nights ago, I was preparing dinner for my family.  My son wanted fish sticks.  As I took them out of the oven, I asked, “Nico, what do you want to dip these in?  Do you want ranch dressing or ketchup?”   He responded with, “Mom, come on, don’t you know me?”  The tears welled up in my eyes because, in the not so distant past, my son would never have had to ask me that question.  Unfortunately, I have allowed my mind to become completely cluttered with random thoughts and I now see clearly, just how easy it is to fall into the trap of a full mind!

So what is it that’s on our mind all of the time? Finances, family issues, career, colleagues, relationships, responsibilities, and the list goes on…

We can constantly plan in our mind what it is we have to do and how we should go about it, but we are missing the big picture.  In all of our planning and doing, we are not being

There are several definitions for mindfulness, but here is one I found that is simple and right to the point (just the way I like it)…

Mindfulness is bringing one’s complete attention to the present experience on a moment-to-moment basis (Marlatt & Kristeller, 1999).

Today, my son and I were driving down a country road as we headed to a birthday party in my hometown.  He was playing his DS in the backseat, while I was trying my hardest to clear my full mind.  We were only about 20 minutes into our hour and a half drive and I was already feeling my mind fill up with ‘stuff’.  As we traveled down the road with only a few cars, I noticed a dog close to the side of the road.  He was an adorable hound dog and he looked like he had a tag on, signifying that he certainly had an owner.  I saw that he was dangerously close to the line on this winding road, so I beeped my horn as I saw a few cars approaching in the opposite direction.  This peeked the dogs attention and thankfully slowed the cars down to avoid a terrible event.  I continued to slowly drive down the road, thinking in my head, “That poor dog.  I wonder if his owner even knows he’s out.  What will happen to that little guy?”  I started to pick up speed and went back to my mind full of thoughts, which now included some guilt for not stopping to be sure that the dog was home with its owner.

Within a few minutes, we were about 2 miles away from the dog and I was still feeling badly about the little guy, but focusing on where we had to go instead of the present moment.  I looked in the rear view mirror and my son had tears in his eyes.  He said, “Mom, we have to go back to make sure that dog is okay.  We just have to!”  Without hesitation, I turned around to go and find the dog, hoping and praying that he was okay.  As we approached the area where we first saw him near the road, we noticed that he was heading into a house with a person.  I pulled into the driveway and talked to the owners for a few minutes.  It appears as though our beeping cautioned them and made them realize that the dog had gotten out.  They were very thankful and we were very excited to know we made a difference.

We backed out of the driveway and headed down the road.  I knew what I was feeling in my heart… pure bliss.  I then looked in the mirror at my son, and said, “Nico, I am so proud of you for asking Mommy to go back to make sure that dog was okay.  You are such a kind and caring young man and you did the right thing.”  I smiled and continued on.  A few minutes later, I looked in the mirror again and saw my son crying.  I asked what was wrong, and he replied,

“Nothing Mommy, these are tears of joy…tears of joy.”

Up to that moment of seeing this hound dog on the side of the road, I was caught up in my own stuff. I was thinking of all the things I needed to do and how long this trip was going to take.  I was focusing on what was to come, instead of what was right in front of me.  You would think that just seeing that dog almost lose his life would have been enough to break that stinkin’ thinkin’, but it wasn’t.  As soon as we passed, my mind started to drag me in again, until my son, a six year old, forced me to BE in the moment.  He never questioned going back to check on the dog.  If he was driving that car, he likely would have pulled over as soon as he saw the dog near the line of the road! His first and only thought was to be sure the dog was safe.  He was so clearly in the moment, and not worried about where we had to be in the next few hours.

When we first began our journey today, I will be the first to tell you that I had a full mind and felt a bit heavy in my heart with worries.  I wanted to raise my vibration, but I wasn’t sure how.  I was wondering if I should listen to some positive CD’s, like Dr. Wayne Dyer or the Law of Attraction, but my heart still felt heavy.  It wasn’t until I shifted my thoughts away from myself and to the needs of another that my Spirits lifted.

Today, I feel blessed to have children in my life who teach me daily lessons and remind me to stay in the present moment.  In the scheme of things, it really didn’t matter that we were 15 minutes later than we had planned.  I certainly wouldn’t have solved my day to day worries during that car trip, nor would I have solved the problems of the world.  Staying in the moment can certainly bring so many blessings to us.  Today, being mindful helped a dog get home safely with a simple little “beep,” and it reminded me just how important it is to stay in the moment!

I know that life can get busy and it’s easy to allow the mind to fill, but today, and every day, when you catch your mind filling with all of these random thoughts (that are usually fear driven), take a breath and find something beautiful happening right in front of you.  If that’s too hard, then watch a child  for just a few moments, because truth is, children spend most of their time in the present…being mindful!  As we guide our children to shine their lights, let us remember that they have much to share with us as well.

Be Mindful!

Vicki

If you liked this blog, you might also like www.theinfinityfoundation.wordpress.com

The Power of Speaking Our Truth

This week, my first grade students presented their first radio show on blogtalkradio titled, “KidSpeak.”

I was so incredibly proud of each and every one of them because at the ripe ‘ol age of 6 and 7, they are speaking their truth!

I have spent quite a bit of time teaching my students the importance of trusting their intuition and using their voice to tell others how they feel, but I really didn’t realize just how much they absorbed from this teaching until we produced the radio show…

I watched in awe as my little first graders ripped off ‘I Statements‘ like they were a well versed second language.  Some students talked about feeling sad, while others talked about feeling proud of themselves.  The most inspiring event within our radio show happened towards the end of the interview.

I have a young girl in my class who is very quiet and reserved.  She’s also extremely sensitive and hardly ever tells others how she is feeling without a strong nudge.  During the radio show, she raised her hand to share her own ‘I Statement‘.  She was quite eloquent when she told another student in our class that she felt invisible to him.  The boy who she was speaking to is having difficulty with socialization, yet he responded with love, and I have noticed in the past few days that their friendship has flourished and bloomed!  Words cannot express how I felt at this very moment.  It was a beautiful and divine moment because I was able to see that my teaching of this very important topic had made a positive impact on my students.  That is every teacher’s dream!

I encourage you to listen to the show.  It will make you laugh, and possibly cry.  It’s powerful to remind children that they have a voice inside of them and it’s important to use that voice to speak their truth in this world.

If you’ve never heard of an ‘I Statement,’ you are in for quite a treat.  I’m not quite sure where it originated, but I do know it is powerful because I have used it in my personal life, my coaching clients, and my students for many years.

I firmly believe that we need to teach children at a young age how to talk about their feelings without harming others.  We are so quick to judge when children are tattling or battling one another, yet we often don’t take the time to give them a tool to use in order to get their feelings out.  Many times, parents, teachers, and caregivers, rush to solve the problem for the child instead of taking the time to give them a tool because, let’s face it, we’re busy too, and we look to put the fire out as quickly as possible.  Unfortunately, by putting out that fire for them, we are missing the big picture and not giving them the opportunity to learn how to speak their own truth.

The next time this situation presents itself, I implore you to take a deep breath and give your child, or the children you work with, this simple, yet powerful tool…

The ‘I Statement

I feel ________________(tell what you are feeling)

When ________________(tell what happened to make you feel this way)

Because_______________(tell why you feel this way)

What I Really Need_________________(tell what you need at that moment)

(For a worksheet on this, please go to http://www.thelightinsideofme.com/ and click on Parent Teacher Resources)

Oh, by the way, you’re never too old to use an ‘I Statement.’

With Love & Gratitude,

Vicki

www.vickisavini.com