Guiding our children to shine their inner LIGHT by being our absolute best!

Posts tagged ‘family’

Maybe We Could All Be a Little More Mindful

breaths-we-take

I pride myself on being mindful-focused on the present moment. I wrote about the importance of this in my recent Hay House release, Ignite the Light: Empowering Children & Adults to be Their Absolute Best and I have come be to known as ‘the Mindful Teacher,’ yet yesterday I had a revelation…

For the past few weeks I have found myself discussing the topic of mindfulness on radio shows, in my classroom and in my own home. My husband is in real estate and he’s a high energy kind of guy. He has a difficult time slowing down and staying in the present moment so I guess I’ve been ‘preaching’ to him a bit of late because I have been talking to him about being more mindful.

Last night we took our son out to dinner and then headed to the mall for some quick shopping. I had my phone in hand and checked the text messages, Facebook and emails a few times but thought nothing of it. We enjoyed our evening together and then headed up the Northway to go home.

It was at this point that a song came on the radio from years past (N-Sync-Bye Bye). My husband and I smiled as he began singing to the top of his lungs (all the wrong words-of course). Then, I found myself looking down at my phone again.

I don’t know why but I thought back to ‘the old days’ when we didn’t have smart phones and computers on the run. As my husband sang to his hearts content, I had a revelation- I was NOT being mindful. Why is it that we constantly allow ourselves to be pulled away from the present moment?

I distinctly remember a few months ago while traveling through an airport that I noticed a family of four sitting at a table and every person in that family was engaged on an electronic device. I felt sad for the kids because there was no conversation and a true disconnect.

I then looked around the airport and noticed the iPads connected at every table. There were very few people in that airport actually interacting with one another face to face. Instead, they were all engaged in electronics. It truly made me sad but I felt somewhat proud of myself that I was being mindful and talking with my traveling companion.

Yet, here I was last night, as my husband reminisced our youth, checking my damn phone.

I aptly placed the phone in my purse and didn’t pull it out again.

Let’s be honest. We live in a fast paced, busy, technical society and electronics come in handy, but we are certainly allowing social media to over take our lives and we are all suffering from this because we are causing disconnection in our families, with our friends and from our higher self.

Take the time to notice today how much you check your phone, go on Facebook or rummage through emails. Then ask yourself, ‘Do I really need to do this right now?’

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” ~Hilary Cooper 

Truth is…if we are not mindful, then we are missing the moments.

Don’t miss another ‘moment’.

Lots of Love & tons of Light,

Vicki

 

Honoring the Light Within with Mindfulness

Wow, I just had an amazing conversation with my 8 year and I’m truly honored to be his mom.

This evening he came home from baseball practice and seemed a bit emotional. He said he got hit by a ball, but I knew in my heart it was more than that.

When we laid down to talk before bed I went with my gut (as I always tell parents to do because we know what’s going on with our kids more than we’d like to admit).

This is my sons first year in little league and it can be somewhat intimidating to try something new when others have been at it for a while. I turned to him and began to say those very words. As I talked he began to cry.

I stopped talking and opened my ears to listen to him intently. Sure, he may have been feeling a bit unnerved by this ‘new’ sport but it was more than that. What was bothering him most was that other kids were being mean to the ‘little kid’ on the team…

He started off by telling me that some kids were telling him what he was doing wrong and it hurt his feelings. It was then that I reminded him that if we are not part of the solution, we are part of the problem. He asked, “How am I part of the problem mom. They were putting me down?” I answered, “Yes, hunnie, that’s true, but you allowed it to affect you. You are part of the solution when you stand up for yourself and help others to stop and think about their own actions. You might have done that by saying, ‘thanks for the tip but I’m going to listen to the coach,’ ‘last I checked you weren’t a coach,’ or ‘wow, when did the Yankees draft you?” He liked that last one.

I thought we were through the woods but then he got really upset and began to sob uncontrollably. I reached out to him and asked what was wrong. He sadly replied, “Mommy, I was mean too. Some of the kids were making fun of the ‘little kid’ on the team and I agreed with them that he was small. I didn’t like the way it felt inside but I wanted them to like me. Mom, I was part of the problem!

I smiled a bit and wiped his cheeks and said, “Yes hunnie you were part of the problem, but right now you are turning it around to become part of the solution.”

Many children (and adults-who are we kidding) never take the time to be mindful–present in the moment–and think about their thoughts, actions and feelings and my 8 year old was doing that on his own!

We then read my children’s book for the upteen-millionth time, The Light Inside of Me and hugged tightly at the end.

be the light - person

We all have a light deep within us that shines brightly when we come from a place of love and are living our truth and dims when we allow fear to take the helm. In short, when we feel good, we shine and when we feel bad, we are dim or we dim the lights of others.

The next time you see a dim light, be present in the moment. Be totally mindful of what you are thinking and feeling and then instead of reacting, respond with love.

I am so proud of my son this evening (and every other minute of his existence). Tonight and every night I feel honored to be his mom.

Lots of Love & Tons of Light,

Vicki

Thankful for the Little Things

Lego

 

Lately I’ve been in a ‘cleaning up and clearing out’ kind of mood. I find myself looking around the house and finding small areas of clutter and pouncing on that clutter as soon as I notice it. Today, my son and I began cleaning and clearing out the family room. We have bins of toys and cabinets that haven’t been opened in a while so we thought it would be a good idea to dive in together.

Cleaning up and clearing out is not a task my son (or I) truly like, but it turned into something quite magical…

As we opened a cabinet that hadn’t been touched in a while, I found myself reminiscing through his earlier childhood.  There were several abc activities and early reader books. I put those in a pile and thought, ‘Nice, I can put those in my classroom,’ because I teach 1st grade. We sifted through Pokemon cards and small trinket toys and smiled to one another as we laughed about the different phases he’s gone through.

When all was cleaned and cleared we sat back and chatted for a bit. I glanced around the room once again and noticed all of the Lego’s in several corners of the family room. My immediate thought was to start cleaning and clearing once more but I held back and took a breath because my son is 8 and I’d like him to remain my little man for a bit longer.

He noticed the look in my eyes and said, “Oh no Mom, don’t get any ideas. We’re done for today.” I smiled and responded, “You bet Bud. I like having your Lego’s around.” He raised an eyebrow and said, “Mom, chill out with the Lego’s. Those aren’t going anywhere. I like having them in here!”

I gave him a big hug and told him not to worry because quite frankly, I like it too. Somewhere in those moments I realized that some day, in the not so distant future, I would no longer have Lego’s or toys all over the family room and that made me pause for  a moment.

I am thankful for the simple moments. I am thankful for the smiles we share, the scattered rubber bands from the Rainbow Loom, the Skylanders and the Lego’s on the floor. I am thankful for this beautiful time we call childhood.

As Thanksgiving approaches, many people begin to focus on what they are grateful for. I am grateful for childhood. What are you grateful for?

Lots of Love & Tons of Light,

Vicki

 

Children are to be Seen, Heard & Absolutely Listened to!

Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘Children should be seen and not heard?’  I remember hearing this as a young child from our extended family, and, of course, it never quite sat right with me.  I believe now, exactly what I believed then…Children have a very important voice.  Yet, now it’s a part of who I am and a commitment I make daily to help children find their voice, and speak their truth.

I pride myself on my ability to teach.  I have always thought that I was a really good teacher because I have a way of simplifying difficult lessons, but I must say, I’ve met a teacher who is even more amazing than me…

About three months ago, I was talking with a friend on the phone who was very disappointed because she had been trying for a second child for quite some time, and was still not pregnant.  I had her on speaker phone while I was talking, and my son was going about his business quietly.  My friend has a 2 year old son and as we were speaking on the phone, and she was crying over her disappointment, her 2 year old walked over to her and said, “Baby girl coming soon, Momma.”  She wimpered a bit more, and then asked him what he just said.  He repeated, with great vigor and confidence, “Baby girl coming soon!”  I was smiling on the other end of the phone while I listened to this because, I was reassuring her that this was all going to work out, and her son just confirmed that.  She turned back to our conversation and said, “Why would he say that, Vick?

Before I could even get a breath and bring the words to my lips, my son spoke up, “Mom, tell her to believe him!  Growned ups don’t get it.  Babies know more than they do because they remember things from ‘up there,‘  why won’t she just listen to him?”  In awe, and with an even bigger smile on my face, I asked my friend if she heard my sons guru advice.  She chuckled and said, “Yes, but what does this all mean?” My son then said, “Mom, gimme the phone.”  He greeted her very gently and then said, “Ok, listen.  Kids haven’t been here for too long, ya know, on Earth, so it’s easy for us to still know stuff like we did in Heaven.  Your son is telling you that a baby girl is coming soon because she IS coming soon.  You have to believe him.  You just have to believe him!”  He then handed me the phone and said, “Ok mom, your turn!”  I ended the conversation and asked my son where that was all coming from.  His response, “Well mom, kids know more than growned ups because they were in the other world not so long ago, especially babies.”  I looked at him and said, “Hunnie, that’s amazing that you still remember all of this.”   He looked deep into my eyes and replied, “That’s why I picked you Mom.  I picked you because you’re beautiful (he got brownie points for that one), loving, and your not like most growned ups.  You get it!”

Considering the fact that I did an interview with the Miracle Cafe Radio Show last night, http://www.miraclecaferadio.com/radio-show-archive and was labeled the ‘Modern Day Mary Poppins,’ I’m thinking my son just might be on to something! 

We live in a world where everyone is doing their own thing.  If you look around on any given day, you will inevitably see children with their eyes on an iPod Touch, iPad, or some sort of electronic gadget.  At first glance, you might notice that the children are totally engaged in their own little world.  When you look again, you might notice that, we, their parents and guardians, are also immersed in this world.  We may be checking our email from our Smart Phone, texting, or even playing games right along side the child that sits next to us.  When I think of our world today and how we interact with one another, it sometimes saddens me because our youth has a difficult time communicating with one another without technology as a barrier.  Worse, they have a very difficult time communicating with the adults around them.  After listening to my son, it’s easy to see how children start shutting down with their communication after awhile.  If you aren’t really listening to them, especially when they have a SUPER important message, then they begin to doubt those messages themselves and shut them down.

Let’s change all of this and be ‘growned ups who get it.’  That ol’ saying, ‘Children should be seen and not heard,’ is totally off base.  Quite to the contrary…

Children should be seen, heard, and totally listened to!

On a side note…My girlfriend called me a few weeks ago with some news…Yep, you guessed it, she’s pregnant!  Hmmmmm, I think it’s safe to place a bet that it’s a girl!

Check out my NEW and improved website at www.vickisavini.com

Where’s the Respect?

Hmmmm, so lately, I’ve been hearing a great deal about how frustrated parents, teachers, and society is, in general, about the lack of respect that children show nowadays.  In truth, I have even muttered these words in the past few weeks myself…

It does appear as though many of today’s children feel a bit entitled and don’t necessarily find it important to listen to the adults who are trying to help them.  I’ve been told throughout my life that I have a gift, and that gift is, that I can see the world through the eyes of children.  Well, with that being said, I figured this might just be important enough to dive into…

I’ve heard tons of people say this line of late, “When I was a kid…” 

Now, go ahead and fill in the blanks (I’d be very interested to hear your response in the comment section).

Here’s some of what I heard…

“When I was a kid, I never would have talked to teachers the way these kids talk to their teachers.  My parents would have had my head!”

“When I was a kid, if I talked back to my mom like that, she would have slapped my face!”

“When I was a kid, I didn’t have all of the things my kids have.  I didn’t have everything I wanted.  I think these kids are just plain spoiled!”

Hmmmm, and now my wheels begin to turn.  When I was a kid, I would never have talked back to my parents, or any adults for that matter.  I would never ignore my teacher when they were speaking to me, or laugh when I was being reprimanded for a choice in my behavior.  I wouldn’t have done it because I knew I would disappoint my parents.  I wasn’t necessarily afraid of them spanking me, or slapping my face, but I didn’t want to disappoint them.  As I got older, it wasn’t my parents who I didn’t want to disappoint, it was God.  Now that I realize that God is within me, I make good choices because they feel right…they feel aligned with Source…they feel good inside.

I grew up in a different world, and it’s true that a lot has changed.  Unfortunately, that includes manners and respect in general.  Honestly, as frustrating as this lack of respect is, we can’t really get angry with our kids if we are not taking the time to teach them, to connect with them, and to guide them.

As difficult as it is to look at our current world and realize that manners are not necessarily the norm, and respect, is not the guiding principle of behavior, we must realize that we are the only ones who can truly make a difference.

Let’s face it, we grew up with parents who got the belt if they were not well behaved.  When our parents became parents,  they in turn, would often use corporal punishment, or at least threaten it.  My generation didn’t want to raise their children in fear.  Instead, they wanted to give their children a voice and all that they never had.  We’ve certainly done a terrific job with that, but we unfortunately forgot one important element…we forgot to teach them to care.

As a teacher of young children, and a mother of a lively and respectful six year old, I feel that my most important job is to teach my kids two concrete pillars in order to build a strong foundation for their lives.

The first is independence, and the second is interdependence.   Children must first learn to depend on themselves and go within, to answer questions in life.  My children’s book, “The Light Inside of Me,” helps guide children to make choices based on how it feels when they make a choice.  Once children start to understand that they can make good decisions that feel right on their own, then we need to teach them to care.  The only way to do this, is to teach interdependence…yeah, that’s right, we are all one…and what we do to others, we ultimately do to ourselves…the good ol’ Golden Rule!

Perhaps we’ve gone a bit too far, and we’ve done way too much for our children, not giving them the chance to really build a strong independence and belief in themselves.  Maybe we’ve gotten to a ‘what’s in it for me‘ type of society, but it’s certainly not too late to make changes that would help our children and our society.

So…do you want the children in your life to show respect while still having a voice?

If so, here’s a 3 step formula to follow:

1) Teach them to care

2) Connect them to something bigger than themselves.  Show them that ultimately, we are all ONE.

3) Guide them to make good choices by how those choices feel in their hearts. (check out my children’s book at www.thelightinsideofme.com or www.vickisavini.com

Lots of Love,

Vicki

If you enjoyed this blog, you may also enjoy www.theinfinityfoundation.wordpress.com